Man U All But Wins The Title
By Sam McPhee
It was a massive weekend for Manchester United as they pulled off a come from behind win over West Ham while all the other big clubs either drew or lost, including a completely lackluster display by Arsenal, all but handing the title to Man U.
Man U’s win included a hat-trick by Wayne Rooney as well as a moment where the striker went mental & hurled expletives into a tv camera aimed at fans which will now see the FA investigate the incident. You’ve heard of sore losers? Well, Wayne Rooney on Saturday was a sore winner. You can see the video in the link above where they discuss Rooney’s overall happiness & I have to agree that clearly something is bothering Rooney at the core. Maybe it’s the simple fact that he knows as an English player his destiny is to underachieve & lose at the World Cup so he’ll never truly be in the best in the world player discussions. Or maybe he’s just jealous that the English media are now fanbois about Andy Carroll? Get over it, Shrek.
Anyway, on to the round-up which also includes said Andy Carroll yet again not scoring:
Saturday’s Results
Arsenal 0-0 Blackburn Rovers
The Gunners still have a shot to win the EPL title & you come out & give me that display? Too many Arsenal players looked disinterested or lacking heart. It’s no wonder we always choke at the end of the season. We squandered the few golden chances we were given including multiple close range headers. I’m a patient guy but I’m now on board with the Arsenal fans who say we need a bit of a clearout with some of the players. Almunia, Denilson, Rosicky, Bendtner, Squillaci & Clichy top my list. Fair play to Blackburn though. They defended admirably all afternoon long & looked dangerous on the counter until they went fully into the bunker following Steven N’Zonzi’s dismissal for a two-footed challenge on Laurent Koscielny.
Birmingham City 2-1 Bolton Wanderers
Bolton had their hopes for a European spot dented as they fell to 2-1 to a Birmingham side trying to claw their way into EPL survival. Long-time veteran Kevin Phillips got Birmingham off & running in the 4th minute when he shot home following a corner. Craig Gardner doubled Brum’s lead just before the hour withan effort from the top of the box that kissed both posts before nestling into the net. Johan Elmander grabbed a consolation goal for Bolton but Birmingham held on to win & bag the 3 points.
Everton 2-2 Aston Villa
Everton grabbed a draw with a Late Leighton Baines penalty but the match was marred by yet another controversial goal-line decision which brings about the inevitable call for goal-line technology. Especially as in this match the dreaded opposing-team-scores-goal-immediately-after-the-controversial-decision scenario happened withDarren Bent being the beneficiary for Villa. Bent also bagged both of Villa’s goals, which oh by the way means he scored more league goals in this one match than Andy Carroll, Edin Dzeko & Fernando Torres COMBINED since the January transfer window.
Newcastle United 4-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers
Newcastle continued their erratic form with an emphatic 4-1 win over Wolves. Kevin Nolan, Shola Ammeobi, Peter Lovenkrands (after never re-establishing himself onside) & Jonas Gutierrez netted the goals for the Geordies while Joey Barton continued to handle his collie molesting duties expertly in midfield. Sylvain Ebanks-Blake scored Wolves’ goal while continuing to play striker while named like an author.
Stoke City 1-1 Chelsea
Stoke City at home ain’t nothing to mess with! Stoke came away witha draw from their fortress-like environment at the Britannia Stadium against Chelsea where they were the ones who played like former champions not Chelsea. Stoke even had several chances to win it but couldn’t find the breakthrough after a terrific Didier Drogba header had canceled out Jon Walters’ opener for the Potters.
West Bromwich Albion 2-1 Liverpool
YNWA! Well, West Brom is walking alone…. to victory. Wevenge for Woy Hodgson! Woy walks awone to victowy! Sorry, Liverpool but King Kenny losing at the hands of Roy/Woy Hodgson is just too funny. Chris Brunt scored both of WBA’s goal which included a late-winner while the heavy metal-looking Martin Skrtel netted ‘Pool’s goal. Wes Brom’s victory sees them jump into 13th & move 4 points clear of the relegation zone.
West Ham United 2-4 Manchester United
You can check new contributor, Jeff Spicer’s post on the Man U win because mainly their win over West Ham just makes me want to kick puppies. Which is what Wayne Rooney almost did with his tirade into a television camera following his 3rd goal. I’m not going to get much more into the tirade. His outburst was uncalled for regardless of what goes on in everyday conversations on the pitch or the schoolyard or whatever. He cursed out fans. Not officials, not other players, not politicians or tyrants or dictators. Fans. The people who help pay for his extravagant salary & lifestyle. If people want to give that justice, so be it. Just know you’re a sycophant for doing so.
Wigan Athletic 0-0 Tottenham Hotspur
You want highlights for this match? Well, here’s one- I was able to get in a power nap at the end of this match before I watched Arsenal’s heartless performance. Thanks for the nap, Spurs! Despite the draw, Wigan is still rooted at the bottom of the table & Spurs are still 5 points behind Chelsea for the 4th & final Champions’ League spot.
Sunday’s Results
Fulham 3-0 Blackpool
Fulham put Blackpool to the sword & the Tangerine who once looked capable of surviving into an incredible 2nd EPL season now look pretty hapless & possibly relegation candidates. Fulham were boosted with the return to fitness of Bobby Zamora & his 2 goals along with Dickson Etuhu’s effort helped Fulham pull off a big win. Fulham climb into the top half of the table with the win & face Man U next week whom the Cottagers have won 2 from 4 in their last meetings.
Manchester City 5-0 Sunderland
Wow, how bad was Sunderland yesterday? They looked awful from the get go & Man City took advantage with a 5-goal hammering of the Black Cats. Adam Johnson & Carlos Tevez from the spot got Man City off to a flyer within the opening quarter-hour before the Citizens truly asserted dominance in the second half through goals by David Silva, Patrick Vieira & Yaya “Don’t Call Me Kolo” Toure. Jay Leno’s body double, Steve Bruce, had no answer for Roberto Mancini’s charges on the day & Sunderland’s hopes of European football now look dead & buried.
* * * * *
In closing, though, a bright spot for an American as former Arsenal youth & reserve player, Frankie Simek, won a trophy with Carlisle United on Saturday as they downed Brentford, 1-0, in the final of the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy. The competition is a cup for 3rd & 4th division (League 1 & League 2) sides. Congratulations, Frankie!